Love and Learn
by samwinchester83
Summary: A hopelessly tragic love story set in France, 1944 during the second World War. Jess has always had a fear of falling in love, but when a handsome young soldier named Sam Winchester is admitted to her field hospital, she soon realizes that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.


**A/N: **_Beta'd by the lovely fallingangelsandstars_

**Chapter One**

_"True love will triumph in the end—which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, it's the most beautiful lie we have." - John Green_

**LOVE & LEARN**

**"They're here!" **a young voice yelled from outside the ward. Fear settled gently on Jessica's heart like a moth, its icy legs encompassing the warm, beating muscle. She shivered as the goosebumps creeped their way on to her porcelain skin. Some nights she felt like curling in on herself, hiding away from the fresh horror's that awaited her each day but she never did. She had a duty; a duty as a nurse and the men depended on her. Swallowing down the lump that had formed in her throat, she smoothed down her blue frock and white apron, following the other fearful women outside. What they saw out there wasn't a surprise yet still it rendered the nurses speechless nonetheless. The field ambulance was unloading it's countless injured men, their faces contorted in agonizing pain and if not, it was because they'd fallen in to an unpleasant unconsciousness. Jess managed to suppress a gag as a wave of that metallic smell of blood she knew so well filled her nostrils. One thing was for sure, she wasn't going to get her much needed sleep tonight.

"I need a nurse!" a desperate voice called out. Jess snapped out of her stunned stupor and glanced around the mass of chaos for the man who needed her aid. Jess soon made eye contact with him and weaved through the crowd to meet him. He had his right arm in a sling but was still making a feeble attempt to hold down a frantic soldier, who she assumed was a friend or comrade of his. "Hold him down as best you can." Jess ordered, her voice seeping with authority as she dug in her pocket for the morphine syrette she always carried. She pulled it out and rapidly broke the seal. Then, cutting the leg of the soldier's pants off with a pair of scissors from her first aid kit, she found an exposed area of skin and injected the average dose into his thigh, causing him to yell.

"No! Let me go!" the man pleaded, the last of his energy receding as the medicine took hold. "Don't...my brother...he's...have to..." he mumbled, his body soon turning slack. The soldier had started drifting into unconsciousness when Jess took his hand in hers, brushing her thumb against his calloused skin. "Sorry, I didn't have a choice. You were hurting yourself." she said with a sad smile. Letting his hand slip back on to the stretcher, she glanced down at the dog tag around his neck.

_Sam Winchester_

_14130598 T42 43_

_53 Barker Ave, Lawrence, KS, 66044_

"You're safe here, Sam." she muttered under her breath, knowing full well that she hadn't been heard. After a few moments of silence, she turned to face the man with his arm in a sling. "What's your name, soldier?" she asked curiously.

"Chuck, m'am." he answered simply, before adding as an after thought, "Thank you for you know..."

"Just doing my duty, Chuck. That's what I'm here for. Would you mind grabbing one of the able bodied soldiers back there to help me bring Sam inside?" Jess requested, pointing over to a soldier named Brady who'd been in her care for a week now and was going back to the field within the next couple of days.

"On it." he nodded.

In just under a minute, Brady had come to her aid, leaving Chuck behind to be diagnosed by another nurse. "Thank you. Alright, are you ready? One...two...three..." she said, picking the stretcher up off the ground, grunting from the heavy weight.

"Big guy." Brady muttered under his breath, trying to make light of the situation. The corner of Jessica's lip tugged upwards slightly but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. They slowly carried him into the CCS [Casualty Clearing Station] and transferred him on to one of the spare canvas camp beds. Afterwards, Brady patted her on the shoulder and left her alone to work. She had a few moments to prepare Sam for surgery before the Doctor got here. Tying one of the cleaning rags around her mouth as a makeshift mask, she cut further away into the blood soaked material on his leg. She inhaled sharply at what she saw. It was by far one of the most common injuries that she'd treated during her time there but it still made nauseous. If Sam was lucky he'd be able to return to the field within two weeks at the most, possibly with a slight limp, but if the gash became infected or the surgery failed, they would have to amputate his leg. She hoped to God that wasn't the case. The sight of the embedded shrapnel in his thigh, oozing blood and pus made her feel slightly lightheaded but regardless, she grabbed another clean cloth and soaked it in lukewarm water, gently washing away the dirt. The wound to his leg was the only serious injury but he still had various superficial cuts and lacerations. Cleaning them too, she blotted iodine and wrapped them up in bandages. Fortunately, the shrapnel pieces would fall out on their own. Besides, most of the time removing shrapnel could do more harm than good.

It was at that moment that one of the Doctor's, going by the name of Frank Devereaux, approached me, inspecting the damage done to the soldier. "_Très bien_. I see you've left the leg alone for surgery, _oui_?" he asked, his french accent striking.

"Yes, sir." Jess answered politely, watching him with curiosity. "Normally, I would have said to leave it alone yet there's severe blood loss, so I don't think we have much choice."

"_Exactement_." he replied. "Has the morphine been administered?"

"Yes, sir. Average dose."

"Perfect. Right, I'll need my mask and tools." he commanded but his tone was fruity.

Jess nodded, grabbing a clean cloth, swiftly tying it around the Doctor's mouth and nose. She then passed him the tweezers and scalpel. Then, she was about to pass him the medical retractor too but he shook his head adamantly. "This is going to need exact precision so you're going to have to use the retractor for me while I try and remove the embedded shrapnel." he explained, his voice muffled from the mask.

"-Really? Oh sure." she responded, her tremulous voice wavering slightly. Jess had never had to do something so hands-on in a surgery before. She watched intently as the Doctor cut further into the gash which would make it easier for them to take the lodged piece out as carefully as possible without causing Sam any further injury. Afterwards, Jess spread the skin apart with the retractor, holding it in place for him. The next few minutes were beyond stressful, each second agonizingly painful as she watched the Doctor try to remove the piece without severing an artery. Her breaths became ragged, her palms sweating furiously.

"Done." Doctor Devereaux announced, holding up the blood-soaked metal. Jess grabbed the metal dish beside her and sighed with relief as the piece was dropped inside. Next, she put the tools in the basin on the floor and began dressing the raw wound, wiping iodine around the area and bandaging it up. "He's going to be fine, right?" she asked, pulling the rag down and taking a breath of fresh air.

"_Oui_, I should think so. He'll be up and about within a week...then he'll be back on the field in no time." he explained. Then as an afterthought, "I'd go see if the matron needs any help and then come back and check up on the boy."

"Of course, sir." Jess replied, offering him a curt nod as he left. Now that the surgery was finished, she finally had a chance to look at Sam's face rather than his injury. He was handsome, she'd give him that. Though, he appeared far too innocent to be in the middle of the horrors of war, and from his appearance she could tell that he hadn't yet reached his mid-twenties. Maybe nineteen or twenty... roughly her age, she assumed. A small smile played on her lips as she took notice of his shaggy hair, the length was only just acceptable as the regulation cut. Brushing the chocolate brown locks out of his face, she let out a small sigh. "It'll be a rough recovery, but you'll be fine, Sam." she mumbled, more as reassurance for herself rather than him. The thing she hated the most about herself was that she could get so attached to the soldiers in her care and then she'd have to watch helplessly as they left again to meet their inevitable fate in battle. Jessica's heart constricted painfully in her chest as she thought of all these young men falling victims to warfare. Life could be so unfair. That didn't mean she had to give up on it though. With another sorrow filled sigh, she washed her petite hands along with the surgical equipment in the basin before leaving the tent to find the matron.

* * *

Jessica stepped inside the matron's ward and she soon spotted her tending to one of the men with pneumonia. "Doctor Devereaux said you wanted to speak to me, m'am?" she said, tucking a loose strand of her golden locks behind her ear.

"Oh yes, dear! My hands are completely full and there's just too many men in my care, so I'm going to have to ask you for a rather tedious favor. I'd like you on kitchen duty for the time being. Just for the next few weeks or so, but, only for the ward you're stationed in of course. However, we're still waiting on our next issue of rations, so eggflip is all we can give them I'm afraid." she explained as she took the soldier's temperature.

"Of course. I'll do it now."

"You're such a sweetheart, thank you."

* * *

It took her well past half an hour to make enough eggflip for her ward. She'd beaten plenty of egg whites, then ladled it in to a concoction of milk and sugar. Despite the simplicity of the meal...or in fact _drink _ as it where, it was a favorite among the men of the CCS. Not to mention, it was one of the few meals they could keep down. Balancing the tray on her right hand, she made her way back in to her ward, carrying with her an air of comfort and confidence. It was times like these that she remembered why she wanted to be a nurse in the first place. Just watching the men's faces light up as they were given their sweet meal instead of those bland army rations was a joy in itself. There wasn't much difference between the two ration groups though, but these days, even the smallest distinction was noticeable after eating the same food day in day out.

Jess had almost finished her rounds, when she was left only with Sam Winchester to feed. She could tell he was already starting to stir as she approached him. "Sam...?" she murmured softly, placing her hand gently on his shoulder. His body responded slightly to the touch but he still wasn't aware of her presence. "Sam?" Jess repeated, a little louder this time.

Sam's brow furrowed as he heard a young woman's honeyed voice calling out to him. Blinking his drowsy eyes open, he saw a blurred figure with pinned up blonde ringlets dressed from head to toe in some sort of bright white attire. She looked like an _angel_. "Is this Heaven?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

Jessica laughed a light but humorless laugh. "I'm afraid not." she told him, sadness lingering in her words.

"Where...?" Sam asked, his mind still too foggy to articulate a full sentence.

"You're in the CCS of a field hospital. There was a large piece of shrapnel lodged in your thigh but the surgery ran smoothly. You should be able to walk albeit with a temporary limp, within the next few days."

Suddenly the dam from the morphine broke down, his memories flooding back in all at once. "Wait...no. My brother, he was badly hurt, he's here right? His name's Dean Winchester." he asked, his voice hitching slightly in panic. His brother had been so much closer to the bomb than he had, and if Sam had received a serious injury like the nurse had said, then what the hell did Dean have? Sam couldn't bare to think about it.

"I just made my rounds and there was no one by the name of Winchester." Jess answered sadly, chewing her lower lip.

Sam's heart froze at her foreboding words. "He'll probably arrive on the next field ambulance though, right?"

"It's a possibility." she nodded, trying to reassure him as best she could. Jess noticed that he had relaxed a significant amount at her words but there was still an anxious look about his face.

"Right. Thanks, Nurse...?"

"Nurse Moore, but it sounds awful formal if you ask me. Just call me Jess... but not when the matron's around." she replied with a cheeky small smile.

"Short for Jessica? Got it." Sam responded tapping the side of his nose, mimicking her contagious smile.

"Mhmm. Anyway, don't let me distract you. I've brought you something to eat. It's not much but...the others seem to like it." she shrugged, handing him the last drink on the tray.

"I don't mind it." he said, wincing slightly from the pain in his thigh, the morphine was starting to wear off. "What is it?" Sam asked curiously as he took a small sip.

"Maybe I'll distract you more often then." Jess flirted, her face flushing red slightly. She couldn't believe she'd just said that. What was with her today? "It's simple eggflip made just from egg whites, milk 'n sugar really." she added quickly, trying to mask her embarrassment.

"You will?" he sent back, entertained by her sudden discomfort. She appeared to be surprised with her own witty repartee. "It's good. Haven't had somethin' this sweet in ages." Sam added, his hazel eyes meeting her baby blue hues.

It took her a few seconds before she could physically tear her gaze away because she'd been transfixed by the mesmerizing color of his eyes. They were a sun-kissed brown with flecks of gold and dancing green; it was almost surreal. Jess smiled shyly before replying "Well, I'm glad you like it but I better go see if matron needs any help." It was a poor excuse but she could feel herself already growing attached to this soldier and that wasn't something she could afford.

Sam appeared to look slightly disappointed but even if that was the case, he didn't mention it. "Yeah 'course. I guess I'll see you around, then?"

"No doubt." she beamed, turning on her heel to leave.


End file.
